Finding your solution

Overcoming Overwhelm

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 13:36:46 GMT

Controlling the Controllables

I watched an interview with Double Olympic Skeleton Champion Lizzy Yarnold recently. She was talking about the importance of focusing on controlling what you can in order to remain calm, relaxed and perform at your best. She was of course referring to the sliding events in the Winter Olympics however this advice applies equally well to everyday life as it does sporting competition.

There are so many things vying for our attention at home, work, in relationships and in the media. We're bombarded with things to be worried about, spiralling stress and becoming overwhelming. There are only a few of these things that we can actually control or do something to influence though.

So while awareness is important, when it comes to overcoming that feeling of overwhelm it's crucial to focus those things we can control . There are some questions we can ask ourselves:

"Is this something I can do something about?"

We can only change and control our own actions and reactions based on the situation. We can't control the actions of others.

"Can I break it down?"

Sometimes the answer to getting something off our list is a single task but quite often things are more complex than that. We might not be able to complete or resolve something straight away, but there might be something we can do. What can we do now? What comes first? What needs to happen later? Smaller tasks are more manageable and can help us chip away at the bigger ones and deal with the unknown.

"What's most important?"

Prioritising one thing narrows the field of focus and allows us to concentrate on one thing at a time. Once we've done what we can on the biggest priority we can turn our attention to the next thing (rather than the next 100 things!)

Our happiness and ability to cope depends on how we think, react and what we do. It's within our control so give yourself permission to control your own controllables.

Symptoms of OCD

Fri, 11 Oct 2024 16:38:20 GMT

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Signs and Symptoms

The symptoms of OCD vary between people and the type of OCD they have. Persistent intrusive, and often disturbing thoughts are often accompanied by the compulsive safety behaviours or rituals but this isn't always the case. It is possible to have OCD without compulsions (known as 'Pure O'). Compulsions can also take many forms. It's certainly not all about hand washing or cleaning and they're not done because the person with OCD enjoys them. Far from it.

OCD symptoms include:

Intrusive thoughts
Compulsions/rituals
Seeking that "just right" feeling
Magical thinking
Overthinking/Excessive rumination
Anxiety
Feelings of doubt, fear or guilt
Panic Attacks
Depression
Perfectionism
Low Self-esteem/confidence
Avoidance of situations that may trigger a phobic response

Symptoms often get worse as anxiety increases.

OCD can be debilitating and life-changing but that doesn't have to be that. You can turn it around and break OCD's hold on your life.

The OCD sufferers I've worked with have found that neuroscience-based solution focused hypnotherapy can help them to reduce anxiety and minimise or eliminate OCD thoughts, compulsions and symptoms * . This means they can take back control and get back to living life how they want to.

Find out more about solution focused hypnotherapy for OCD here.

* As with all types of therapy, results vary based on client engagement and commitment.

Hypnotherapy: Mind Development, not Mind Control

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Mon, 26 Aug 2024 13:39:54 GMT

What does Hypnotherapy do?

Perhaps a little unsure of what hypnotherapy actually is and how it could help?

That’s OK, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there and it sometimes seems like the benefits of hypnotherapy are some of the best kept open-secrets!

Hypnosis is Mind-Development, not Mind-Control

For many, the only experience of hypnosis they’ve had are shows where people are somehow “controlled” by the hypnotist and made to do things that make them look silly, but these are shows for entertainment and bear no resemblance to hypnotherapy. During hypnotherapy you remain in control at all times. It’s your mind, you are in control of it. As a hypnotherapist I'm there to help you, not control you. In fact I couldn't control you or your mind even if I wanted to (which I don't!).

How Can Hypnotherapy Help?

Hypnotherapy is a way of calming and shaping your own thoughts to guide you one step at a time in the direction you want to go. Your future starts now so we don’t invest time or energy being unnecessarily focused on the past or dwelling on problems. You want to move forward; be free of the depression, anxiety, lack of confidence or whatever is holding you back? Well, reminding yourself of how anxious and stressed you feel or depressed you are isn’t going to make you feel better. So why waste, not just your time and energy, but your life doing so?

In short, hypnotherapy is a tool you can use to make your brain work for you rather than against you. By changing your mindset you can change what your body does as well as how you feel. It can be literally life-changing.

Life-changing, really? Yes, if you want it to be. Your goals and what you want to achieve are your own but imagine what you could do if you weren't feeling anxious, stressed or depressed; overwhelmed by unhelpful thoughts; tired or exhausted for want of a good night's sleep.

What would you be doing? ...

What would that look like? ...

How would it feel?...

... That's what hypnotherapy can help you achieve.

Anxious about talking?

If you're worried about having to talk about something difficult, painful, traumatic or embarrassing, that's ok. Unlike other kinds of therapy, with Solution Focused Hypnotherapy you don't have to talk about the problem or tell me anything you don't want to. We’re about reducing anxiety rather than creating it and I don't need to know details to be able to help you. Anything you do tell me is confidential.

We're working towards that future you’ve just imagined, not examining the past.

By helping you to take small steps forward at the pace that's right for you, hypnotherapy can help you feel better, cope better, be more positive and feel like yourself again.

Mental Health, Physical Benefit

Feeling better mentally also brings physical benefits. Have you noticed that when you’re doing something you enjoy that you don’t notice any aches and pains you have nearly so much? That’s down to the mind-body connection. When you’re doing or even thinking about something you enjoy you become happier and more positive rather than anxious so different hormones are released in your body, restoring balance. The right balance in our body chemistry can dull pain, aid in recovery, help us lose weight, sleep better and make better decisions.

Does Hypnotherapy Actually Work?

Yes, it does and success is in your hands. Coupled with your commitment to change, hypnotherapy will help you make the lasting change you want. Click here for examples of my areas of work.

If you’re ready to move forward and find your solution or want to know more, give me a call .

Solution Focused Positivity vs Toxic Positivity

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Wed, 24 Nov 2021 14:31:15 GMT

How Realistic Positive Thinking Helps

'So, this focusing on the positive stuff is being positive about everything, all the time, even if you don't feel it, is it? Even when something really bad has happened?'

Er, no.

Responding to every situation with unrealistic positivity is toxic positivity . It represses natural feelings and responses to events which by their very nature are upsetting or traumatic. It feels fake to ourselves and can be downright hurtful or offensive to others. Toxic is right.

Solution focused positivity is very different. In the solution focused approach we're looking for natural, appropriate reactions. Not brushing over things like they didn't happen or don't matter, but recognising that these feelings of pain, grief or sadness will pass and we don't have to stay feeling like this forever. It's about acknowledging the negatives that invariably happen to us all (to a greater or lesser degree) from time to time, feeling what we feel about it, but also having that picture of the future where we're feeling better, coping and where we want to be.

Even in times of great sadness or difficulty there are positives to be had. They don't diminish what's happened (or effectively ignore it as toxic positivity would), but are good things that made us feel better, gave comfort or that we're thankful for.

Think about that friend who was there for you when you were having a tough time, that person brought you a cuppa when your head was spinning or maybe just that kind soul who reached up to a shelf you couldn't reach in the supermarket and passed whatever it was down to you rather than watch you struggle. Perhaps it's just appreciating the nature outside your window.

It can be big meaningful positives or it can be small, seemingly inconsequential positives, kindnesses and things we're thankful for or enjoy. I always say the small positives are often the most important because there are always some there, even if they take a bit of looking for sometimes. And lots of little things can make a big difference to how we feel, the decisions we make and how we cope with whatever comes our way.

So, no, solution focused positivity is not about being positive all the time no matter what. Its about acknowledging negative feelings but using our positive thoughts, actions and interactions to help us process them, deal with them and feel better.

Nothing toxic about that!

How to be Confident with Public Speaking

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 10:00:58 GMT

A small change in perception can make a huge change in confidence

I used to hate public speaking. Public speaking of any kind whether that be standing up and giving a presentation, making some kind of speech, running or sometimes even just contributing to meetings terrified me. My heart would be pounding, I would be so tense that I would shake, I couldn't catch my breath and would speak far too fast so that it would be over as soon as possible. In short, I'd panic.

I would do almost anything to avoid having to speak in public...

... but I now have a career I love that involves my doing exactly that - regularly.

So, what's going on there? Have I suddenly become a completely different person? No, I'm still me ... but this me has learned some new skills.

I didn't go on a public speaking course or anything like that though. The skills I've learned were to use the skills I already had. Skills that I'd convinced myself I didn't have before but were actually there all the time.

I realised the things that were holding me back:

Negative Self-talk
Imposter Syndrome
Anxiety

I was constantly telling myself that I was "no good at public speaking" or that "I hated public speaking" or that it "terrified me". All statements that said in all cases and situations that I just couldn't do it. No wiggle room, no exceptions.

On top of that I'd be thinking "Who wants to listen to me?", "What have I got to say that is of interest to someone else?", "I'm not good enough ... what if they find out?".

Start listening to comments like that and wave goodbye to your self-confidence! That's what negative statements and self-talk do, they erode confidence and generate anxiety. That anxiety drips into our stress bucket and fills it up. The more of it we do, the more we fill the bucket and we all know what happens when you overfill a bucket - it overflows! And when it's a stress bucket that overflows, it's anxiety you get flooding everywhere - that tension, shortness of breath, panic attack, fear and avoidance (to name but a few things). Sound familiar?

So what did I do to find these magical skills that were lurking? I flipped that coin over, changing it from negative to positive and I reduced my anxiety (with some hypnotherapy help, of course!).

I used:

positive self-talk
visualisation and reframing the situation
relaxation

... and practiced these over and over again (probably more than I practiced what I was actually going to say) until it became second nature.

The first time I had to speak in public after that, it went beautifully - I was calm, remembered it and it flowed naturally - and I sat down thinking "I want to do that again!".

Now I've realised that I can do this, that I do have something to say that others want to hear - and more importantly, that I can enjoy it! Do I get nervous? Yes, sometimes - many of the most confident speakers and presenters to - and that's OK because it shows I'm excited about what I'm doing and that I care about doing a good job for myself and those I'm presenting too. I also know that the nerves can be set aside, I can imagine myself giving a good "performance" and deliver just that while coping with whatever might come up.

Now, I do a lot of speaking - I'm a talking-therapist after all, and and assistant lecturer. It's amazing where getting over that fear of public speaking can take you.

Those labels we give ourselves don't define us. Isn't it time to peel off the unhelpful ones and replace them with something more useful? What's your first small step towards that?

Hypnotherapy and Fertility: A Personal Journey

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Fri, 11 Jun 2021 10:09:12 GMT

This is my own story of how hypnotherapy helped my infertility

A quick search of the internet will tell you that infertility rates in the UK are rising and about 1 in 7 heterosexual couples will have difficulty or be unable to conceive so I know my own personal experience is not unusual, but perhaps the route my husband and I ultimately chose to find a solution was less common. We chose hypnotherapy.

At that time I had yet to discover Solution Focused Hypnotherapy and was still working in the stressful world of banking and IT. Initially I took the traditional route and consulted my doctor when it seemed something was wrong and was referred for tests. I have a healthy respect for our medical professionals so was more than a little shocked to be laughed at by the consultant when I explained that I was concerned by my apparent lack or at least highly irregular menstrual cycle could indicate a fertility problem. As you can imagine, this is an emotive and personal subject to discuss that had taken no small amount of nerve to share so her reaction was quite a blow. Certainly not the reaction that any solution focused hypnotherapist would give when faced with a client in the same situation, I’m sure. Nonetheless, I persisted (with a different doctor) and was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). This is where the ovaries are not producing viable eggs and instead of producing a single egg, produce lots of tiny ones instead.

There followed many demoralising months of attending the fertility clinic at the hospital where I would sit in a dingy corridor and await my appointment, surrounded by leaflets with helpful titles like “Facing a life without children?”, followed by appointments where I was repeatedly told I was too old and too heavy (even though I wasn’t that overweight) and left feeling that it was all my fault.

As the months went on I didn’t get any younger, took the medication, dieted, exercised and got lighter very slowly but it seemed it was never going to be enough. At the same time my anxiety, depression and focus on the problem increased until it was overwhelming. It was at this point, years after this journey started and while on a waiting list for a surgical procedure that might help, that it was suggested to me that I give hypnotherapy a try…

… and there was the fulcrum on which my life would turn!

There weren’t many Solution Focused Hypnotherapists in Scotland nearly 12 years ago so my hypnotherapist was not of the solution focused model. Nonetheless, it was a revolutionary experience and couldn’t have been more different to my visits to the fertility clinic. The one bit that I didn’t like and found very upsetting was having to recount a traumatic event from my teens during the initial consultation. That’s why, when I decided to retrain as a hypnotherapist years later, I chose to become a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist.

We know that there is no need to recount past trauma and that it isn’t helpful to put the client into such a negative mindset.

The rest of the sessions felt nothing short of miraculous though. Hypnosis followed the format of progressive muscular relaxation, followed by a deepener of wading through warm, cleansing water before climbing out the other side to visualise my “womb-room”, metaphorically spruce it up and visualise the incoming soul. Even after all these years I could still give you a detailed description of what that room looks like. I use the present tense there because I still pop in and mentally sweep it out sometimes! I left the sessions armed with my hypnotherapy CD and positive affirmations, already looking forward to the next session the following week.

Every time I came home my husband said it was like I was a different person. I was happy, relaxed, positive and energised. I felt like that too. It was like I was lit up inside. I was hopeful.

Now a solution focused hypnotherapist myself, I understand what was happening. I had been so anxious and depressed about not conceiving and the prospect of never doing so that my primitive mind stress response was firmly in control and my body was actively preventing conception into this perceived state of emergency as a result. The hypnotherapy put me back into my intellectual mind, made me relax and take the pressure off. Bringing the anxiety down returned balance to mind and body and not only did I feel better generally, the primitive mind’s state of emergency was called off.

Never underestimate the power of the intellectual mind, relaxation and hope.

I walked into session 5 of my hypnotherapy and announced that I was indeed pregnant!

My hypnotherapist was overjoyed. The hospital, less so. When I phoned to cancel my forthcoming surgical appointment, explaining that I was doing so because I was pregnant, it seemed that it was a massive inconvenience to them rather than a success story. No matter.

I went on to have a beautifully calm and trouble-free pregnancy and was delivered of a beautiful and healthy baby boy almost 11 years ago.

While I cannot say that the medication I received was ineffective what I can say is that I’m certain that I would not have conceived without hypnotherapy to reduce the overwhelming anxiety and negativity. We hear stories all the time of couples who have been trying for a baby for years, with IVF or without, and had no success only to fall pregnant the moment they “stop trying” and the pressure and anxiety dies down.

Perhaps it is no surprise that infertility rates are rising, given our modern lifestyle and high levels of stress and anxiety. These issues effect fertility in both men and women and the stats say that fertility issues are fairly evenly spread across male and female with one or other, or often both partners the cause.

Medical issues must always be referred to the medical profession, of course but I think there is also a role here for solution focused hypnotherapy and the holistic approach. We can't make any guarantees of success but we can offer hope and help make the medical process less of a trauma while providing a means to cope with whatever the outcome may be. Who knows, perhaps like my experience, we may even help create a family.

Play for Childhood Day: Why it's Important

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Thu, 10 Jun 2021 12:24:30 GMT

Play for Childhood Day and Reduce Anxiety and Isolation

In recognition of the impact that the COVID-19 pandemic has had on our children since 2020, June 11th 2021 has been designated Childhood Day. We're all well aware of the impacts the pandemic has had in terms of social distancing, isolation and cancellation of normal activities and events.

For our children, this has meant seeing less of their extended family but also periods of not seeing their friends. The trials of home schooling were not limited to us struggling and juggling parents but were felt most keenly by our children themselves as they faced day after day of isolation from friends, no-one to play with or just chat to as peers. It's taken them away from being themselves and stolen a bit of their childhood but in some cases it has also brought with it increased anxiety which may manifest itself in any number of ways. It might be generalised or increased social or separation anxiety or it might show as increased obsessive or unwanted thoughts or behaviours or disturbed sleep patterns.

The goods news is that there is a way back from that and play is an important - and free - way of doing that. Play takes focus away from worries and intrusive thoughts and literally shifts focus into a different part of the brain. The creativity involved in playing means that we have to be operating from the positive, innovative and creative part of the brain rather than the part that drives our stress response. Playing with others even more so, because we're having to adapt to new facets of the game introduced by the other players as playtime evolves it.

Why is that important?

It's important because this creative, innovative and playful part of the brain is crucial to mental health and reducing anxiety. Letting it take control through the positive act of play and interaction with others gives us that natural feeling of wellbeing that comes from the release of endorphins and seratonin that are so good for our mental and physical health. We can fight those feelings of anxiety and reduce them, all through something as simple as play.

So, whatever kind of game it might be let's encourage the kids to get out and play, not just on Childhood Day but as often as we can.

... and here's a phrase for us big kids to practise ...

"Can I play too?"

If you'd like to know more about the signs and symptoms of anxiety in children please visit my dedicated page under Services.

Phobias

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Thu, 27 May 2021 15:37:24 GMT

How Hypnotherapy Freed Me from my Phobia

Many of us have a very specific fear that most of the time we go about our daily lives not thinking about at all... until we find ourselves in a certain place, situation or faced with the thing we fear. Then suddenly our heart rate spikes, we've got sweaty palms, we might feel breathless and we certainly want to get away from the source of our fear as fast as we can by any means we can. Even when we know our fear may be irrational, we still feel it and it's still real. This is a phobia.

When our phobia relates to something we rarely, or never, encounter, that can be fine - It's not a problem - but if it starts to impact our daily lives or sends us into a panic more regularly it becomes a problem and it's time to do something about it.

My own phobia was a classic example, irrational and laughable to others (and to me too, when not in the grip of it) but when triggered my chest would tighten, I'd feel clammy and sick and my whole body would tense up. So what was this phobic trigger that so terrorised me...?

Butterflies and moths.

Really!?! These beautiful, harmless little creatures?

Yep!

There was just something about these dopey little things that always seemed a bit out of control when flying, it was like they were always coming at me. And the thought of them landing on me, well, enough said!

I did say it was a phobia; an irrational fear, didn't I?

Ever since I was a child I'd been freaked out by moths at first, then butterflies too. I don't recall a specific event that triggered that fear but it developed just the same. That's the thing with phobias; sometimes there is a specific trigger and sometimes there isn't and the phobia is created by an innocuous, run of the mill event that might go unnoticed but probably happened when you were anxious or stressed by something else causing it to lodge in your mind and pop out later as a fear trigger.

As an adult I was always on the lookout for them when I was outside and always had to have the windows closed before the lights went on in the evening for fear of them coming in. It came to head one summer when we were at the Durrell Zoo in Jersey (a wonderful place). I really wanted to see the giant tortoises but they were in the butterfly house. Deciding to be all grown up and rational about this I was determined to go in, even if I was already short of breath by the time we reached the outer door and I hadn't even seen a butterfly yet! I made it into the butterfly house (pretty good, for me) but stopped after a single step. Clouds of butterflies everywhere! Little ones, huge ones, lovely bright colours, all flitting about and landing on the people ambling so contentedly through the exhibit. I just couldn't do it and bolted out of the door, the wrong way around the one-way system. Worse still, my panic made my son panic too and he retreated with me rather than continuing on with his dad.

Not long after we returned home I had the misfortune to be bitten by a dog. When recounting this experience to a colleague he asked me what would be worse; to be bitten by the dog again or a cupboard of butterflies. Without hesitation, I replied "the butterflies". My irrational fear outweighed the much more rational one.

Oh dear, time to do something about it!

As a hypnotherapist, I knew what the answer was and am lucky enough to be acquainted with quite a few other hypnotherapists so had no difficulty finding someone who could help. Four lovely sessions later and not only was the fear template that triggered by phobia gone, it had been replaced by something much more rational that was how I wanted to feel and react when I encountered these little insects.

My first-hand experience of this process always reminds me of how powerful and effective hypnotherapy is in the treatment of specific fears and phobias. The feeling of being free of a fear that I had lived with for decades is, quite simply incredible. Being able to do something as simple as relax in the garden or leave the windows open for longer is great. I don't even think about it anymore.

There are so many phobias out there: spiders, snakes, flying, heights to name but a few of the more common ones, but there are so many others. So, if you have a phobia and it's time to do something to address it, why not give me a call and let hypnotherapy free you from it.

Nature and your Mental Health

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Thu, 06 May 2021 13:48:01 GMT

Engage with nature in your own way and boost your mental health

What do you imagine when you think of nature?

Perhaps you think of going for walks in the park or countryside with the sun on your back, going to the beach or wrapping up warm and splashing in puddles while the wind whips around you. But what if you don't have access to these places, are unable to get there or aren't ready to go out yet?

Thankfully there's more to nature than great escapes and we can all find our little bit of nature if we look for it. We might find it in the garden or even from inside our home. The key is to look for it. It might me that you enjoy pottering in the garden, looking after a window box or pot plant, or even just listening to the birds singing as you put the bin out. After all, good things don't have to be big things.

The way we look at things determines how we feel. Not only are the sights and sounds of nature soothing to our mind but the act of seeking it out and appreciating it in any form takes us away from sadness, anxiety and depression, giving respite and the head-space to relax. Looking for nature and what you like about it uses the area of the brain associated with positivity so is a great way to feel better.

Ask yourself when you see droplets sparkling on the window, do you see the rain or the sun glinting through the clouds? If it's the rain, well then, what's good about the rain? Then look beyond it.

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

Keeping Spirits Up In Lockdown

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Mon, 08 Feb 2021 17:08:18 GMT

Beat the Lockdown Blues with a COVID Calendar!

We all have good days and bad days and the COVID-19 lockdowns haven't made things any easier. We make plans - even simple ones - then have to cancel them again. We're all thinking of things we're looking forward to doing again when restrictions are lifted and we're allowed, but that's all in some unspecified time in the future.

One evening at bedtime, my son told me he was feeling down because of lockdown and because everything he was looking forward to seemed so far away. So, we had a chat and got the cogs whirring about what we could do about that and hit upon the idea of a 'COVID Calendar'.

What's a COVID Calendar?

The picture above is our home-made 'COVID Calendar'. It's a bit like an advent calendar but we're counting down to the end of Covid restrictions instead of Christmas. Obviously we don't know when that'll be so it's a perpetual calendar.

Each member of the family takes it in turns to open a little box each day for a little treat or pick-me-up. Contents don't have to cost much, a little fun-size treat, stationery or a small pocket-money toy (the kind you might find in a kid's party bag) - or maybe coffee or a tea-bag for the grown ups so you can enjoy 5 minutes with a cuppa! Whatever you want! The biggest hit in our house is a little note of kindness or positivity included each day.

Days numbered 1 - 16 labels on the front, then the second half of the month on the back. Simply refill and turn them around to keep going and keep everyone smiling in lockdown with a little something to look forward to that won't get cancelled!

#Positivity #ChildrensMentalHealth #ChildrensMentalHealthWeek

Beat 'To Do' List Anxiety with a 'Ta-Dah!' List!

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Fri, 05 Feb 2021 16:11:19 GMT

Is your 'to do' list stressing you out?

I love a 'to do' list and always have on one the go. It helps me to remember what I have to do and when. Most of the time that's great, but there are times when I seem to be adding more to it than I'm crossing off or there's so much on there that I don't know what to do next. In time like these a 'to do' list can become intimidating and actually create anxiety instead of helping us stay in control. We finish one task, only to be straight on with the next.

An over-full 'to do' list can make us focus only on the things we haven't done yet and can make us feel like we've achieved nothing. We get stressed and anxious, performance starts to suffer and we're so busy worrying about what we haven't done yet that we can't get on with what we're doing now. In extreme cases we might feel so overwhelmed that it triggers a panic attack.

There are literally thousands of articles out there about time management and prioritisation etc. but this isn't one of them. This is about controlling anxiety caused by the pressure that our 'to do' list put on us. The time management and prioritisation stuff will help too and a well-managed list is a great thing, but what can we do specifically for our mental health?

To my mind, the 'to do' list is only half the picture. What every 'to do' list needs is to be coupled with a "Ta-Dah!" list.

A "Ta-Dah!" list shifts the focus onto what you have achieved. It doesn't matter what it is, it can be anything, as long as it's something that makes you feel good or you're proud of. Work, family, personal; big things, small or even seemingly trivial, it doesn't matter.

The key thing that your "Ta-Dah!" list does is make you stop, think and focus on your successes, achievements and the things you have enjoyed. There are no rules about how much or how often you add to it but the more often you do, the more you'll appreciate how all the small successes and little things you do add up to something far greater. Most importantly, every time you add to your "Ta-Dah!" list it makes you feel good ... and when you feel good, you boost your seratonin levels so you feel happier and more positive. That boost in seratonin brings your anxiety down too.

The more "Ta-Dah!" , the less anxiety!

If there's one thing to add to your 'to do' list every now and again, make it this:

Do my "Ta-Dah!" List

Here's where I keep my "Ta-Dah!" list. I love a book and a nice pen to write with so this is where I'm happiest but keep yours in whichever format you like best.

Help Yourself

Tue, 19 May 2020 14:56:36 GMT

Self Care - Remember to secure your own mask before helping others!

At the end of my most recent professional supervision session my supervisor concluded with a note on self-care saying "Remember to secure your own mask before helping others". This line that so many of us have heard from aircraft safety briefings might seem out of place when talking to a group of hypnotherapists but it really resonated with me. Why?

Well, c onsider what that line about making sure your own oxygen mask is secure before helping anyone else really means and why it's important. Don't help the person next to you before sorting yourself out - not even if that person is your own child. That might sound selfish when for most of us our natural tendency would be the exact opposite - 'I've got to help them, they're scared and in trouble!'.

But we'd be wrong, wouldn't we. In this situation, stopping to help another first could spell disaster for both of us as not securing your own mask first would render you unable to help anyone. This resonated because it's exactly the same for any one of us trying to help someone else get through a difficult time and achieve their goal, whether that be reducing anxiety, anger or depression, coping with OCD, losing weight, stopping smoking or building confidence etc.. If we aren't in a good place ourselves, how can we expect to usefully help someone else.

In a time when so many are suffering from increased anxiety, including our nearest and dearest, we want to be able to offer comfort, support and reassurance but we can only do that if we are also looking after ourselves too. That goes for all of us, hypnotherapists or not, and that can be a challenge!

We're used to putting the needs and wants of others first - at work and at home - but to be at our best we have to remember to take care of ourselves and not feel guilty about it. Not all situations are life-threatening and it's OK to say 'No' to the requests and demands of others sometimes.

It's also OK to say 'No' to that primitive part of our mind that says 'you must ...', 'you mustn't....', 'you have to worry about...' or 'this is never going to change/get better'. In fact, the more we say 'No' to unhelpful thoughts and replace them with something useful, the better we feel and the more able we are to cope. We make the negative path the road less travelled. Just by doing something we enjoy, talking to a friend or having a laugh we can make a new road. A road that is more welcoming and pleasant to travel. A road that takes you forward to where you want to go at a pace you want to go at, where solutions pop up like road signs to help you along the way because you're no longer concentrated on the problem.

Self-care is like road maintenance - or aircraft maintenance to use my analogy from earlier. If your aircraft is well maintained there are less likely to be issues and your own oxygen mask may not be needed. You're also in a better position to help those around you should they need theirs. When you feel better, others around you reap the benefits too.

So, ask yourself if it's time for some maintenance. You know the signs in yourself - you might feel short-tempered, irritable, tearful, be sleeping badly, struggling to focus or having headaches. The warning signs are individual to you. Once you identify them you'll recognise them if they appear again in the future and when you do, you'll know it's time to be kind to yourself, help yourself and get your 'oxygen mask' back on first.

Some thoughts for my self-care today:

5 mins peace & quiet - just me & a cup of tea
Start my new craft project
Have a walk
Find out the collective noun for a group of hypnotherapists because that's really bugging me now!

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

Does Hypnotherapy Work Online?

Wed, 13 May 2020 14:46:12 GMT

Does Hypnotherapy Work Online?

Yes! It's simple, effective and you don't have to travel!

It's been a little while since my last blog but you know what? I'm not going to beat myself up about it! I've been busy being mum, home-schooler, business owner and - of course - hypnotherapist!

I've always offered sessions online, even before lockdown, but now of course, all my hypnotherapy and group relaxation sessions are online and I don't see that changing anytime soon. I suppose that's answered the title question: "Does hypnotherapy work online?" - Yes, it does!

End of blog? No.

People tend to have questions about it so I'll try to cover off some of the things I'm asked.

Do I need to be a techie to have an online hypnotherapy session?

No. If you can open an email and click a link, you're there. Just make sure you switch on your webcam/camera and sound! Much easier than finding a parking space!

Do I have to subscribe to an online meeting service?

No, you don't. I use Zoom for my sessions and I have an account so you don't need to. I set up individual meetings for each client session with a unique meeting ID and password for each one. I email you the link to join the meeting and off we go.

If you're new to Zoom, the first time you click a link to join the meeting you'll be asked to allow Zoom to download a small piece of software to your device (which only takes seconds). You might need to click "Yes" or "Allow" a couple of times but that's it. It costs you nothing.

What happens after I click the link to join a session?

After initial set-up (if it's your first time on Zoom) then you'll be added into my virtual waiting room. I'll get a wee message telling me you've arrived and will admit you to the session. It's a bit like having security on the door - if you're not on the list, you're not coming in!

Is it private and secure?

All Zoom sessions and connections are encrypted for security and I always use unique meeting IDs and passwords shared only with you so we don't get any unexpected visitors joining by mistake. Also, I use headphones on our sessions so only I can hear what you're saying, even if someone passes the closed door of the room I'm working in.

I do nothing differently regarding online session records to what I would do if we met in person. At the end of the session, they're securely locked away and remain confidential.

Is the session format different?

No, it's the same as if we met face to face instead of virtually so. Same process, just as effective.

What do I need?

A device with a camera/webcam - tablet, computer/laptop, smartphone - the choice is yours!
Broadband/wifi connection - unless you have a shed load of data allowance on your phone, I suggest you connect to wifi.
Somewhere you can relax. You can sit or lie down anywhere as long as you're comfortable. Try to make it somewhere you won't be disturbed. If there are others in the household, tip them off to leave you alone for an hour!
A blanket or something to keep you warm. Most people are fairly still during hypnosis so you can feel a little cold (although I have have a few fidgets as well - Whatever, as long a you're comfortable! It all works just the same).

What happens if the connection drops during hypnosis?
I've never had that happen but if it should you'll likely be aware of it as you'll stop hearing my voice and come around pretty quickly, just like if I were to stop talking during a session in my therapy room. Reconnect and then we'll be off again. You cannot get stuck in hypnosis, it isn't possible.

I'll also take a phone number for you so if you don't reconnect, I'll phone you and help you get back online.

What if I fall asleep?

Most people only think they fall asleep during hypnosis, actually they don't, they're just in a deeply relaxed trance state. Most will wake up when they hear me stop talking or call their name and instruct them to open their eyes in a progressively louder voice! I'm usually a gentle speaker but I can be really quite loud if I need to be!

A (very) few people really do go all the way through a trance state and nod off to sleep. If you're worried this might happen to you and that you won't wake up when I speak loudly to you, or you really need to make sure you get up after your session, set an alarm on your phone for 5 minutes after the scheduled session end time. Job done.

How do I pay for online sessions?

My online booking process takes care of that should you want to book in and accepts credit/debit card, or PayPal payments.

What are the benefits of hypnotherapy online?

You get all the benefits you'd get from a face to face session plus,
There is no travel time so it's easier to fit into your day
You can relax in the comfort of your own home , or wherever you happen to be
Geography is no barrier . It really doesn't matter where in the world either of us are - everywhere is local online
You can Stay Home, Stay Safe and Protect the NHS

If I haven't answered your question, you'd like to discuss an online session or would like a Zoom demo drop me a line to elaine.neale@happy-hypnotherapy.co.uk and I'll do my best to answer it (if it's not about hypnotherapy, be prepared to be told to go and google it yourself, I know a lot of random stuff but there are limits!)

Obsession: Coping with OCD

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:12:22 GMT

Obsession, Over-thinking and Compulsion

Have you ever been so fixated on a thought or idea that you couldn't get it out of your head? Whatever else you do, this thought just rolls around your head and keeps forcing its way to the front of your mind until you can think of nothing else?

For some people this can lead to a compulsion to take that thought and turn it into a physical action e.g. compulsive cleaning, checking, doing things in a specific order or number of times etc. In some cases this can lead to a belief that if they don't perform an action (or do it correctly/the right number of times) there will be bad, sometimes terrible consequences however unlikely they may be in reality. This is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD.

Some people find their OCD is manageable but for others it can be truly debilitating, impacting relationships, work, even the ability to leave the house or do everyday tasks that most of us take for granted.

Obsessions from something that is on your mind to the most debilitating OCD ultimately both have their roots in anxiety. It's that pesky primitive part of our brains at work again, pushing that negative "Fight, Flight, Freeze" stress response to the fore and not letting us forget about whatever it is that is bothering us.

We know anxiety is created by the way we think about things and if we can change the way we think, we can stop feeding that anxiety. If we can reduce the anxiety we can therefore reduce the obsessional thinking and consequently the compulsions endured by people with OCD. In fact, many OCD sufferers report a reduction in their compulsions when they are less anxious - or they may put it differently: that their compulsions are worse the more anxious and stressed they feel.

So, what do I mean when I talk about changing the way we think? Does it sound easy? If you're in the grip of anxiety, depression, anger or OCD, probably not! Not to begin with anyway. But with a little practise, time and application you'll be surprised at the progress you can make!

In the Solution Focused approach we change our thinking by turning our attention to how we want our future to be - what it looks like and how it feels . We do that because it helps us to see that there is a better future ahead (whether we're looking days, months or years ahead) and because focusing on the problem only ensures that you stay in its grip rather than moving forward.

The brain can't tell the difference between imagination and reality so perceives our thoughts as reality - whatever they are. We can choose how we think so we have the power to take ourselves out of negativity and obsession and into our positive future.

Those positive thoughts can be about anything and those small steps are defined by you - towards what you want and at your own pace.

We all have it within us to beat that obsession or kick that habit. Sometimes we can do it by ourselves and sometimes we need help and support. Either is fine and no-one is beyond help.

Take 5 minutes now and imagine the future you want.

Looks good, doesn't it?

Now, reach out, move forward and take your first step towards it!

I usually add some of my positives or good things at the bottom of my blog. I had a week off blogging last week so I have a few held in reserve. I'll include a few of them here too.

I ignored social media for a week - that was blissful! I highly recommend it!
I presented a webinar to 40-odd people (Just for clarity that's an audience of 40+ attendees rather than 40 people who were odd! I'm sure they weren't in any way odd.)
I invited a friend to join us virtually for dinner. Set a place at the table for the laptop and away you go! It was great fun and will now have to be repeated regularly!
We gave ourselves permission to do the things what made us happy (within the limits of home) rather than worry about what hasn't been done.
I got a letter from my mum - an actual, hand-written, physical letter. Lovely.
Reading bedtime stories
Lots of sunshine
Home-school is done for another day - and roman numerals were quite fun actually!

And ... Relax

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Fri, 10 Apr 2020 15:17:07 GMT

Remembering how to relax

Anxiety is on the increase in our modern society. More and more of us are suffering from anxiety or depression, diagnosed or not. Often this is caused by the pace of life and the constant demands on our time and attention. Obviously there are the added anxieties caused by the current global situation, lockdown and the associated social and financial impacts it is causing. All of this can make it difficult to relax, even though many of us now have the time to do just that.

So why is it difficult for you to relax?

A lot of it is to do with the fact the we've forgotten how. We've got so used to being constantly on the go, always expecting to be doing something, going somewhere and achieving something - at work and at home. We've forgotten what it is to completely stop and focus on ourselves for a while.

Just stop..... Don't feel guilty about it..... Just stop.... and relax.... How?

If you've read any of my other blogs you'll know that there's always some neuroscience that underpins it all. I love that! It's real and proven and we can use it to our benefit! Your mind loves a clear instruction and will do its level best to deliver for you. If that instruction is to relax, then your brain will make you relax but we have to help it achieve this by giving it the tools to do the job.

My tips for relaxation?

Find somewhere you won't be interrupted. If necessary, let others in your household know that you don't want to be interrupted or you might find they helpfully pop in half way though your relaxation time to make sure you're OK.
Switch your phone off!
Get comfortable . This can be anywhere you can relax comfortably, just make sure it's safe and your not going to fall off when you relax your muscles, or get tripped over by anyone else if you've decided to stretch out on the floor!
Clear your mind. Don't try and think about nothing or you'll just find yourself focused on the stuff that's stressing you out again. Instead, try to focus on your breathing. Each breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, becoming slower and more regular. You can imagine each breath out expelling the anxiety and tension from your body.
Mental Relaxation. Give your brain the instruction "relax" - remember don't bark the instruction! Softly does it!
Physical Relaxation. We all carry tension in our muscles and they need a little help to let it go. You might find it helpful to start at the top of your head and work your way down your body, focusing on releasing tension from each area/muscle group as you go. You can also tense the muscle you're focussing on and release it as you tell it to relax in your mind. As you relax you'll feel the change in your body.
Take your time!

Start at the top of your head. Release and relax the tiny muscles in your scalp, move onto your forehead and around your eyes. Then the mouth... don't worry if your mouth falls open, nobody's looking!
Move on to the base of your skull, your neck - a lot of people carry tension in their neck that can lead to headaches and migraines.
Across your shoulders and down through your arms, your wrists and to the very tips of your fingers.
Return to the torso and relax the chest.... and across your stomach (it might gurgle - don't worry, this is a good sign!)
Relax the muscles down your back, either side of your spine. Into your lower back and across the pelvis.
Into your legs now. Move down the muscles in your thighs, then into your lower legs, releasing tension as you go.
Relax your ankles (rotate them gently if they feel stiff), stretch out and release your toes.

Stay there as long as you like. Your mind might wander and that's OK but try and keep it positive - the good things, pleasant memories, imagining yourself to be in your favourite place or holiday destination, things you're looking forward to are all good examples.
Don't get up too fast! When you're ready to get up, take your time to re-adjust so you don't feel dizzy.

Now you're ready to get back to your day, feeling more relaxed and in control. One last one...

Repeat as often as you need to. Relaxation is especially useful at bedtime if you're having trouble clearing your mind or getting to sleep.

Why not give it a go? You have nothing to lose but your anxiety.

The Mind-bending New You

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Wed, 08 Apr 2020 14:48:24 GMT

Practise Yourself Positive!

Do you think that your brain structure is set? Or perhaps that how you think, is how you think and that's that? You'd be wrong!

Our brains continue to adapt and change throughout our lives, literally forging new neural pathways and opening and closing others depending on the weight of traffic. Did you have piano lessons as a child and can now only just about remember "chopsticks"? Just as the path less-travelled becomes overgrown so unused neural pathways close as the brain diverts resources to areas with the greatest demand - things we do regularly and learning new things. This is called "neuroplasticity".

Why is this important to you?

It's important because it means you can actually change your mind in thought and structure. If you're prone to seeing the worst in a situation or putting yourself down you'll build neural pathways like motorways to the negative parts of your brain, making that your default mode of thinking, reinforcing your negative outlook and leaving you much more open to suffering from anxiety disorders, depression and other life impacts. But neuroplasticity means it doesn't have to be that way - you have the power to take the decision to think differently and change your mind - literally.

It takes practise to begin with but if you decide to be more positive, you will be. You'll be more aware of how you're thinking and if you're aware of it, you can choose to change it. Making an effort to think and act more positively gives you an immediate boost and gets that change in brain structure going. You'll reopen and widen neural pathways to the positive areas of the brain while narrowing those to the negative. Keep going and it'll become easier to be positive until it's the norm.

Everyone is different but you can literally practise yourself more positive and see results in 3 weeks to 2 months time!

Imagine how that could make a difference to you and your life. What would that "new you" be doing or feeling?

Think about it, imagine it and you can have it - your brain will make sure of it. Truly mind-blowing!

My positives today so far (please remember, these can be anything and small doesn't mean insignificant!):

A breakthrough moment on the jigsaw puzzle building - we're on a roll now!
Actually having time to do a jigsaw puzzle
The washing is all done and there's no urgency for the ironing (yay!)
Guitar lessons are coming on a treat (online & with an app)
It's been another beautiful day.

The Positive Emotional Virus

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 11:40:39 GMT

The Positive Emotional Virus - a virus you want to spread

Our attitude to circumstances and events in our lives colours not only our feelings and actions but our physical health too. Did you know that studies have shown that people who are calm and optimistic are likely to be healthier and live longer? If you're interested in finding out more, I would recommend Dr David R Hamilton's engaging and accessible book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body" where you can read the evidence for yourself in one handy place.

The act of being calm and positive actually changes our body chemistry and improves our mental and physical health! So, simply by making a decision to change the way you think and respond to things can have a profound effect.

The wonderful thing is that our immensely clever and complex brains can be fooled into positivity even when we're feeling low and anxious. This is because our brains can't tell the difference between imagination and reality. If you think about a happy memory, something that made you laugh or something you're looking forward to, it makes your brain think that this "good thing" is happening right now. In response your brain kicks off a happy chain of events, giving you a boost of positive neurotransmitters and making you feel better. It's like any skill - the more you practise be mindful of your attitude and thoughts, the easier it gets and you just keep on getting the benefits.

But it's not limited to you...

As you feel better, the way you interact with others changes too - it becomes more positive - and there's a knock-on effect to the people you interact with. Something as simple as a smile is contagious and actually spreads good emotions because mirror neurons in our brains make us respond in kind. Someone smiles at you, you smile back. Someone acts in a calm and positive way towards you and you are encouraged to do the same. The added bonus is, your brain thinks "I'm happy, relaxed and positive" and gives you a boost too. You feel better and so are better able to cope with whatever comes your way. It's so easy to pass on! Isn't that a great thing to spread?

This is important to us all but it is particularly important when interacting with our children during times of uncertainty or challenging circumstances. Just as you can spread positivity leading to wellbeing, so you can do the same with negativity so our attitude really matters because that is what we project, no matter how you might try to mask it. Children are much more astute than we sometimes give them credit for. They take their cues from us, picking up on emotional undercurrents and 'vibes'. In short, they will react how you do. Find your positivity and they will too.

So, why not spread a little happiness? It's a virus we could all do with catching.

My positives for the day (so far) include:

Listening to a David Walliams audiobook with my son and having a good giggle.
Remembering to put the oven on for lunch!
Reading a bit of a book on Marketing (which I admit to putting off from yesterday but I'm actually glad I did).
Getting some work stuff out of the way before we started home-school for the day
Laughing at a Harry Potter joke on twitter. Ah, Simple things!

Keep smiling!

Small Steps

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Tue, 31 Mar 2020 12:38:36 GMT

Small Steps... Lead to Giant Leaps

No, I'm not talking moon landings or space exploration here! In these times of social distancing "space exploration" is limited to the spaces inside our homes and, if we're lucky, gardens. It's a time when we're limited in what we can do and that can encourage us to focus on the problems we face - either globally as a race or inwardly to the fears and worries that we're nurturing for ourselves, our families and friends.

As a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist I try hard to live my life in accordance with a positive and solution focused mindset but I'm not immune to those times when the primitive part of my brain starts shouting and the stress response kicks in. Just like everyone else I have worries about what will happen next, how long will it last, how we will cope and provide for the family and how will we get back on our feet in the long run. I had a day like that yesterday in fact. So what did I do?

I went back to basics. I looked for the positives (yes, they were still there) and I looked for small steps.

What are they?

Small steps are exactly that - the next little thing that you can do to to make yourself feel better. My small steps helped me to take control, quiet my primitive mind and return control to my positive, intellectual mind.

I pulled my "big girl pants" up (Anne, if you're reading this - that one's for you!), made phone calls and sent emails to get help in sorting out some issues. Issues that turned into non-issues when I got the responses.
I switched the news off.
I took some time for myself and did some creative writing - an activity that needs the intellectual mind to be in control and diverts attention from "the problems". Being creative in doing something else gives you some much needed headspace and lets your subconscious work through whatever it needs to.
I had family cuddles! A great Oxytocin booster and we all felt better!
I did 10k on my cross-trainer with my earbuds in listening to some up-tempo music - turns out that's quite a lot of small steps! 30 minutes well spent because it got the endorphins flowing, I felt fitter and more energised. I didn't care that I was sweaty and bright red at the end of it because I'd achieved my goal. (Apparently, purple was more accurate according to my son. Thanks Buddy!)
I made plans for today's small steps to give myself purpose.

By the time I went to bed I was in a much more positive frame of mind so was able to sleep better and wake up with a better outlook for today. So keep doing the small steps, the more you do, the easier they become and they really can turn into giant leaps.

The Importance of Sleep

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 15:03:31 GMT

The Importance of Sleep

If you're having trouble sleeping... this is for you

We all know it's important to get a good nights sleep. It makes it so much easier to get everything done the next day when we wake up feeling refreshed and motivated - but it doesn't always work out that way does it?

When we're feeling anxious or depressed your sleep can be one of the first things to be effected. You go to bed feeling tired but might not be able to get to sleep, might wake up during the night and not be able to re-settle or might wake up too early. You might feel like you just want to try and sleep forever but are never able to get enough to feel refreshed in the morning. You are not alone.

Remember that anxiety list I talked about in my last blog? (See Managing Uncertainty 24/03/2020 ) All those things on your list are getting in the way of your sleep. When you're asleep your brain is doing it's utmost to work through that list, processing memories and working through problems. The more you can limit what goes on that list, the better chance your brain has of working through what's on there.

We've all had mornings where we've had a Eureka! moment when the solution to something we've been trying to puzzle out the previous day pops into our heads. The age-old advice to "sleep on it" holds true for a reason.

So why are you not sleeping well or continually waking up during the night? Well, your brain can't use the whole time you are asleep to process those anxieties on your list. It can only do that during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep and this only accounts for about 20% of the time you are asleep. REM sleep takes a lot of energy so your brain calls a halt to it when you try to overdo it by tackling an overly long list of anxieties and the only way it can do that is to wake you up.

To get you back to sleeping well there are a few things you can do:

Limit what goes onto your anxiety list - don't give your brain more work to do that you need to!
Don't stress about not being asleep - you'll only add that worry to your list and make it harder to sleep
Try some relaxation techniques - focus on your breathing and relaxing your muscles
Play "The Appreciation Game" - Think about the positives in your life, what you are grateful for or looking forward to. Doing that helps you to stop obsessing about the problems and adding to your anxiety list, gets you thinking in a helpful way and helps you get the most out of your REM sleep
Listen to a Hypnotherapy Download or Guided Relaxation before you go to sleep - this helps you relax and be in the right frame of mind but also mimics REM sleep giving you and extra boost of processing time to get that anxiety list down.

Why not give it a try?

Some of my positives for the day so far:

My family remain safe and well and in good spirits
I won 2 games of Battleships in a row (Competitive? Me? I didn't think so but maybe I am ... a bit)
I sat down and spent some time reading a book
I got a phone call I'd been waiting for
I'm getting better at doing this home-schooling thing
I had 59 WhatsApp messages this morning and several texts from friends all keeping in touch in these challenging times, looking out for each other and making each other laugh. What a gift.

Stay safe, stay positive and sleep well.

Managing Uncertainty

183:793721166 (Elaine Neale) — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 13:53:24 GMT

Manage uncertainty and tame anxiety

In these unprecedented times of social distancing for us all and isolation for many we're all having to deal with uncertainty. What's going to happen? How will I pay my bills? How do I home-school the kids? When will it be over?

Uncertainty breeds worry and anxiety and we can find ourselves overwhelmed and unable to cope. Our mental health underpins our ability to cope, carry out our day to day activities and it can even help us to recover from illness more rapidly so it's really important that we look after it, especially in these challenging times.

So how do we manage uncertainty to limit our anxiety?

Well, we know what makes us anxious and could write lists long enough to fill several toilet rolls with things that do that (maybe that's what those people with hordes of the stuff are doing with it!). If you were to read those lists, ask yourself how many of those things are within my power to control or influence? How much of it is negatively forecasting the future based on my fears rather than reality? Are there things on there that have already happened and are in the past so can't be changed? I bet there are.

How much shorter would your anxiety list be if you took those off things it?

Focusing on the things we can't control builds anxiety and escalates uncertainty creating a vicious circle, damaging your mental health and ability to cope so let's flush those away and work with what is real that you can influence!

Look at your list again. It's much shorter now. This time, instead of focusing on the problems, think about what you could do to improve the situation. Even if it's just a little bit or the first small step towards doing so.

For example: If you're feeling overwhelmed by wall-to-wall news coverage and panic on social media you could decide to limit your exposure to it. Tune in at set times of day that work for you and only for as long as you need to get an update. Then switch it off and go and do something else that's a positive use of your time.

Now imagine you've already done it, what you have achieved instead and how you're feeling better as a result.

Remind yourself of the positives you still have in your life - your world may seem smaller at the moment but there are still positives to be had. Remember that they don't have to be big things - the small things are just as important, are often more achievable and add up to bigger things overall so don't discount them! Was the sun out? Did you finally get that drawer cleaned out that you've been meaning to do for months? Did you chat to a friend on the phone, fill in a form, laugh at a joke or write down those times-tables with the kids?

Focusing on the positives and doing what you can to find and progress your solutions creates a virtuous circle for your mental health, making you feel better and act more positively. When you think and act more positively you're better able to keep perspective and take uncertainty in your stride - and when you do that, you help others to do the same.

My positives for the day (so far) include the following, what are yours?

the sun was out
the broadband is working
seeing my son's smile after building the Apollo Moon Landing Capsule out of paper and string (thank-you internet!)
I had lunch with my family

......Oh, and I sat down and wrote this blog.